Cliques and the Church©

Learn More To Do More Project of Lee Clowning Ministry

Written by Dale Lee


Table Of Contents


Unintentional Developed Clique ( Or were they intentional.)

Being Fair to Some Sunday School Classes (You are important even if I do not talk with you.)

One person breaks through church cliques (Being an athlete opens some church doors.)

Real Sunday School Class (Real live clique of nice people.)

Am I acting like I belong to a church clique (I am too busy when I am at church to be friends to everyone.)


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Unintentional Developed Clique ( Or were they intentional.)


            Question: What is the difference between a clique in a church or Sunday School Class and a

                                    tight knit fellowship?

            Answer: Not much.



A clique often has the image of people that are snobs and knowingly exclude people from being a part of their self glorified group. The exclusion of people causes people to develop negative feelings toward the members of the clique.


The Oxford University Press Dictionary defines a clique as a small group of people who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them.


Cliques can unintentionally develop in a church to the point that some people feel that they are excluded. A clique mentality can develop within a small group such as Sunday School class to the point that visitors and new class members may have a problem feeling that they are a part of the class.


Each class after being organized for several years will develop its own culture and ways do doing things. An outsider may have problems gaining acceptance in the culture. This culture may inadvertently become closed, and it takes an aggressive person to break through the culture barrier. Another way for a person to break through the barrier is to have a class member to take the time to help assimilate him through the culture barrier.


Often small churches without regard of setting (rural, intercity, urban, etc.) will end up with a closed culture to outsiders. Rural churches and churches that have a significant number of their membership belonging to a few families can be inclined to create a clique mentality. In larger churches, there may develop several closed cultures that exist side by side in the church. A new pastor has to deal with breaking through the cultures that have developed within the church’s membership.


In a church, the development of a clique mind set of a few people is probably not done with the idea of excluding people. It just happens. The challenge is for the members of the clique to be aware of how they have developed an inward focusing fellowship.


It is possible that a person can be a member of a Sunday School class for a lengthy time and still have just a casual relationship with other members of the class. Being comfortable with the Sunday School class members during the Sunday School class Bible study time is not the same as being integrated in the social structure of the core class members.


In some churches, the elected leadership rotates between the same group of church members. It is possible that a new church member that has strong leadership skills may not be able to break into the “leadership” circle for several years. Can situations like this be the work of a clique attitude?


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Being Fair to Some Sunday School Classes (You are important even if I do not talk with you.)

In fairness to Sunday School class members, relationships (friendships) that have developed over several years will not automatically be developed with visitors and new members. These relationships take time to develop. It seems to be a normal human trait that there is a natural action to unite with other humans with whom there is a relationship that is based on similar and mutual interest. The close knit members need to be aware that they should limit the topics of conversations they have during the Sunday School class that relate to their social relationships outside the Sunday School class activities. Class members are to make sure visitors are included it all Sunday School class activities and take the time to educate the visitors to the class’ customs, and learn things about each class members.


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One person breaks through church cliques (Being an athlete opens some church doors.)

Once people become comfortable with specific friends, there is not much motivation for them to make changes. I found that I have been able to break through some clique relationship barriers in churches due to my participating on softball and basketball teams and teaching youth and children Bible classes. If the children and youth like you, their parents’ approval of you will follow. Through the ball team’s practice and games, I got to know the team members’ families and they got to know me. This time spent together enabled me to become a friend, team member, and teacher and not just as a Sunday School class member.


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Real Sunday School Class (Real live clique of nice people.)

My wife and I joined Sunday School Class “A.” Normal class attendance included five men and six women plus my wife and me. We liked all of the class members, and participated in each activity the class sponsored. I saw class members at other church activities. After attending the class for about two months, I realized from conversations that they were doing things together away from the church. I wondered why I was not told about the times they would be getting together. We did not feel that they did not like us, but we were becoming concerned about the possibility of being excluded.


We had not learned or understood the impact of the following facts during the few minutes we were with them during the Sunday School class.

 

          There were four married couples in the class.

          Four men were deacons

          Two of the women were sisters.

          One woman worked for one of the men.

          Several of the men hunted and fished together.

          Two of the men were best friends.

          Children of one couple would babysit the children of the other three couples.

          The class members have known each other for ten to twenty years.

          Three of the men played together in a band.


The Sunday School class members in their normal daily activities spent time together each week. Once I began to understand the relationships within the class members, I understood why we were not a part of the activities that we would hear discussed before the Sunday School class started. Sunday School Class A was a very close knit social unit away from the church. On the surface, the Sunday School class members were open to new members. A new class member from outside the church would face a strong challenge if he wanted to become a member of the social structure away from the church activities.


The members of Sunday School Class “A” had developed into an actual clique. I do not think they consciously saw themselves as a clique, but their personal relationships caused them to spend time together in their normal daily lives. Their social lives were full, and they did not need any other social members. When the class sponsored an activity, I did not feel they made any attempt to exclude my wife or myself.


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Am I acting like I belong to a church clique ( I am too busy when I am at church to be friends to everyone.)


If you are good friends with people in your Sunday School class or other church organizations, make yourself aware of how you relate to these friends. Make sure you are aware of how some of your friends actions and attitudes can cause some people to think they are being excluded.


Class members are to make sure visitors are invited to participate in all Sunday School class activities. Take the time to educate the visitors to the class’ customs, and learn things about each class member.


The idea that a Sunday School class is opened to anyone puts some pressure on class members to live up to the idea. Being open to anyone to join the Sunday School class needs to be reflected in the manner that the Sunday School class’ members responds to visitors and new class members.


With all things said and done, I am the one that determines how I treat class members, visitors, new Sunday School class members.


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12-29-2004